No one sets out to have a failed marriage.\u00a0 In fact, most people begin their relationship with great excitement and the hope of a \u201chappily ever after\u201d marriage.\u00a0 Unfortunately for some people, somewhere along the way, the dreams get derailed and what started with such promise becomes a downward spiral of conflict and hurt.\u00a0 How does this happen?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Some of the most common issues that contribute to marriages failing are:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Inability to Resolve Conflicts<\/h6>\n

One of the most common reasons that marriages fail is the inability of the couple to successfully resolve conflicts.\u00a0 Unresolved conflicts build up over time and create a wall of resentment.\u00a0 Instead of listening and trying to understand to each other, each person gets dug into their side of the argument.\u00a0 As a result, the couple often finds themselves in the same argument they have been in a thousand times before.\u00a0 When the argument ends, each person often feels completely misunderstood and further convinced that they are right and thus justified in their anger. As a result, the walls just get higher and higher.\u00a0 It is hard to have intimacy with someone who is completely walled off from you.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Poor Communication Skills<\/h6>\n

It is hard to resolve conflicts without effective communication strategies.\u00a0 Many people think that if they yell louder or push their points more forcefully that it will finally get through to their spouse.\u00a0 Instead, it often does the opposite.\u00a0 Imagine someone unexpectedly banging on your front door.\u00a0 Do you rush to open it, or do you lock the door to ensure that an intruder doesn\u2019t get it?\u00a0 If we feel attacked or unsafe, we tend to pull back to protect ourselves.\u00a0 Yelling at each other never makes anyone feel safer and more open to each other.\u00a0 Alternatively, some couples tend to fight in silence.\u00a0 The angrier they get the more they withdraw and withhold.\u00a0 Both of these communication strategies can begin to create the conditions for a failed marriage.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Infidelity<\/h6>\n

Infidelity and affairs can obviously lead to the demise of a relationship.\u00a0 However, what most couples don\u2019t realize is that many affairs are the result of a lack of emotional intimacy within the marriage.\u00a0 When a person begins to feel completely alone and disconnected from their spouse, they often start to think that they don\u2019t have anything left to lose.\u00a0 An affair becomes a short step when the friendship, communication, and loving connection in the marriage has deteriorated.\u00a0 As a result, affairs are often the symptom of the underlying problems in the relationship.\u00a0 However, there are some instances where affairs occur for other reasons, such as sexual addiction, sexual identity issues, or a general lack of commitment to the marriage.\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mistrust<\/h6>\n

Sometimes mistrust occurs because of baggage from old relationships or from family of origin issues.\u00a0 If you feel like everyone always leaves you, then it often feels appropriate to believe that your current partner will also leave you.\u00a0 The thought often becomes, \u201cHow do you trust someone when you couldn\u2019t even trust your own parents?\u201d, or \u201cMy last spouse cheated on me and so I know that you will too.\u201d\u00a0 Unfortunately, this general mistrust can end up creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.\u00a0 The mistrust and accusations can begin to create resentments, which can lead your partner to emotionally withdraw from the relationship.\u00a0 The more that they withdraw, the more that you feel justified in your mistrust, which leads to more withdrawal. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Alcoholism and Substance Abuse<\/h6>\n

Alcohol and drug abuse can have a profound impact on a marriage.\u00a0 It is hard to feel emotionally intimate with someone who is drunk or high all of the time.\u00a0 In fact, it is not uncommon to feel like your spouse is having an affair (with alcohol or drugs) when they are active in their addiction. Suppose feels like they would rather spend time with the alcohol than spend time with you.\u00a0 It becomes very difficult to create or maintain emotional intimacy because the alcoholic or addict tends to spend increasing amounts of time either using, recovering from their use, or preparing for the subsequent use.\u00a0 Obviously, this can create a great deal of anger and resentment which can further erode the connection to the marriage. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Other Addictions<\/h6>\n

Gambling addictions, porn addictions, and sexual addictions can also destroy the trust within a marriage.\u00a0 Addicts tend to lie in order to cover up their behavior and protect their access to continuing the behavior.\u00a0 The more they lie and the more unreliable they become, the more it erodes the emotional bonds within the marriage.\u00a0 If left untreated, addictions can lead to the demise of even the strongest marriages.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Unresolved Issues from the past<\/h6>\n

Unresolved trauma, grief, betrayals, abuse, abandonment, or other issues from the past can create barriers to emotional intimacy.\u00a0 The more painful the past, the more potential it has to impact your current relationships.\u00a0 Small arguments can become huge arguments because the feelings from the past can get mixed in with current feelings during an argument.\u00a0 It can become difficult to resolve arguments when you don\u2019t know why the feelings are so intense.\u00a0 Fortunately, therapy can help you deal with the baggage from the past so that it doesn\u2019t invade your current marriage.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Finances<\/h6>\n

The inability to successfully navigate financial issues can create significant problems within a marriage.\u00a0 Money represents a lot of things to people.\u00a0 For example, for some people, money represents security, while for others it represents freedom.\u00a0 Since couples typically have a limited amount of money, they have to learn to communicate effectively about money.\u00a0 The fewer couples agree about finances the more stress it tends to place on the marriage.\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Inability to manage anger<\/h6>\n

Everyone gets angry sometimes, especially in relationships.\u00a0 However, if anger is expressed in unhealthy ways, it can begin to destroy a marriage.\u00a0 The more a person feels attacked, threatened, or hurt, the more they tend to withdraw in order to protect themselves.\u00a0 On the other hand, some people who feel attacked, simply attack back.\u00a0 This tends to create an ever-increasing amount of intense volatile arguments.\u00a0 The more volatile the arguments become, the more it puts the marriage at risk.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Disagreements about parenting<\/h6>\n

A lot of conflicts can get created when couples disagree about the best way to parent children.\u00a0 These disagreements can lead to long-term resentments which can escalate over time, especially when children become teenagers.\u00a0 Kids often feel the tension between their parents and then tend to act out in ways that heighten the tension.\u00a0 The greater the tension, the more stress that it puts on the marriage.\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Blended family issues<\/h6>\n

Blended families experience unique stressors.\u00a0 Some of these stressors include changing expectations, conflicts with ex-spouses, unclear rules about how non-biological children get parented, struggles to blend finances, new rules about chores and responsibilities, and how to create time to be a couple.\u00a0 If not successfully resolved, these stressors can make it difficult to maintain emotional intimacy.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Extended family issues<\/h6>\n

Extended families can create a lot of stress on a marriage.\u00a0 For example, historical expectations about how holidays are spent can lead to conflicts.\u00a0 What do you do if your spouse wants one thing, and your family of origin expects something else?\u00a0 In addition, what if your spouse and your family don\u2019t like each other?\u00a0 Just because you love your spouse, doesn\u2019t mean your family will feel the same way.\u00a0 This can obviously create a lot of tension in the marriage and if not successfully managed can lead to problems within the marriage.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Conflicts about sex<\/h6>\n

Arguments about sex are not unusual in a relationship.\u00a0 How these arguments get resolved matters.\u00a0 If left unresolved, arguments about sex can lead to resentment and feelings of being unloved and unwanted. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Abuse<\/h6>\n

Physical, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse can all threaten a marriage.\u00a0 If you are in an abusive relationship, it is important to get help.\u00a0 Healthy relationships don\u2019t\u2019 tolerate abuse.\u00a0 So, don\u2019t learn to tolerate the intolerable.\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Marriage Therapy Can Help!<\/h6>\n

If your marriage is struggling, marriage therapy can help.\u00a0 As a couple, you can acquire the skills to resolve conflicts and communicate effectively.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/h5>\n

We Can Help!<\/h5>\n

MHThrive provides Individual Therapy, Couples and Marriage Counseling, and Family Therapy at our locations in Katy, The Woodlands, and the Clear Lake area of Houston, Texas. We also provide telehealth therapy for anyone who resides within the State of Texas. To schedule an appointment with one of the MHThrive therapists, contact us at 713-477-0333<\/a>\u00a0or visit\u00a0www.mhthrive.com<\/a>\u00a0to learn more.<\/p>\n

If you or someone you know is experiencing any mental health or substance abuse issues, New Dimensions<\/a>\u00a0can help. Our team of experienced therapists and psychiatrists can help you overcome these challenges and help you develop the skills you need to thrive. To schedule a complementary assessment or to find out more about our programs, contact us at\u00a01-800-685-9796<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Online Treatment Programs<\/a> provides Teletherapy Partial Hospitalization and Intensive Outpatient Programs allowing participants to receive intensive therapy with our licensed therapists and psychiatrists without having to leave home. \u00a0If you or someone you know is struggling to overcome depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, trauma, panic attacks, PTSD, alcoholism, drug abuse, or other mental health or addiction issues, we can help. \u00a0To schedule a complementary assessment or to find out more about our teletherapy programs, contact us at 1-800-685-9796<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No one sets out to have a failed marriage.\u00a0 In fact, most people begin their relationship with great excitement and the hope of a \u201chappily ever after\u201d marriage.\u00a0 Unfortunately for some people, somewhere along the way, the dreams get derailed and what started with such promise becomes a downward spiral of conflict and hurt.\u00a0 How […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2886,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[35,27,33],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n