Helping a Loved One Archives - MH Thrive

How to Motivate Young Adults That Live at Home

mhthrive — Wed, 10 Jan 2024 08:03:40 +0000

Motivating young adults who live at home can be difficult, as they are still residing in their childhood home but are autonomous adults to some degree. For parents, it might feel uncomfortable trying to ride the line between parenting and taking a back seat. If your young adult is lacking motivation, it could be difficult to sit back and not say anything. Fortunately, there are some ways that you can help motivate your child without overstepping. In this blog, we will explore some of the techniques you can utilize to spark some motivation in your young adult without harming the relationship.

Why Do Some Young Adults Lack Motivation?

There are quite a few different reasons as to why some young adults might lack intrinsic motivation. The safety net provided by the family environment can inadvertently breed a sense of complacency for some. Shielded from the immediate responsibilities of bills, rent, and other adult obligations, some adults may struggle to develop a sense of urgency or the drive to pursue goals. The comfort and support offered at home can inadvertently become a double-edged sword, impeding the development of the resilience and self-reliance necessary for personal growth.

On top of this, societal expectations and the pressure to conform to a certain path can overwhelm and paralyze young people. If they lack certainty in terms of a career or their future in general, they might feel frozen and are unmotivated to take the next step, as they aren’t confident in what that looks like.

Finally, social media platforms showcase curated versions of success, perpetuating unrealistic expectations and making personal achievements seem overwhelming. This heightened pressure can contribute to a lack of motivation to break free from the comfort zone.

Steps To Take

1. Communicate

Create a safe space for your child to express themselves without fear of judgment or backlash, especially if they aren’t sure of what their next steps are in life. Regularly engage in conversations about their aspirations and interests. Actively listening and showing genuine interest can help parents learn more about their child’s motivations and help guide them more effectively.

2. Set Goals Together

Collaboratively setting goals empowers young adults and provides them with a sense of purpose and guidance. Discuss short-term and long-term objectives, breaking them down into manageable steps that keep the young adult from feeling overwhelmed. By involving your young adult in the goal-setting process, you encourage autonomy and accountability.

3. Gently Encourage Pursuit of Passions

Motivation often stems from pursuing one’s passions. Encourage your young adult to explore and identify their interests, whether they be academic, artistic, athletic, or entrepreneurial. Provide opportunities for them to engage in activities aligned with these passions, fostering a sense of purpose and fulfillment. When individuals are passionate about what they do, they are more likely to be motivated and committed to their endeavors.

4. Provide Support, Not Pressure

While it’s natural for parents to want the best for their children, applying excessive pressure can lead to stress and demotivation. Instead, offer support by being understanding, patient, and empathetic. Recognize that everyone progresses at their own pace, and success is achieved through a combination of effort and experience. Create an environment where failure is viewed as an opportunity for growth rather than a setback.

5. Teach Financial Responsibility

Young adults living at home can benefit from learning financial responsibility so that when they are on their own, they are confident in their knowledge. Educate them about budgeting, saving, and the importance of financial planning. Encourage part-time employment or internships to instill a strong work ethic and financial independence. This not only provides practical skills but also fosters a sense of responsibility and self-reliance, key elements in building motivation.

6. Foster Independence Gradually

Gradually entrust them with responsibilities, both at home and in decision-making processes. This could involve managing their schedules, handling personal finances, or taking the lead on specific projects. By empowering them to make choices and learn from their experiences, parents contribute to the development of self-motivated and independent individuals.

7. Celebrate Achievements

Acknowledging and celebrating achievements, no matter how small, reinforces positive behavior and motivation. Whether it’s a good grade, completion of a project, or reaching a personal milestone, take the time to recognize and celebrate these accomplishments. Positive reinforcement builds confidence and encourages a continued commitment to personal growth.

8. Promote a Healthy Work-Life Balance

Balancing academic or professional pursuits with leisure and self-care is essential for maintaining motivation and overall well-being. Encourage your young adult to establish a healthy work-life balance, emphasizing the importance of relaxation, hobbies, and social connections. Understanding the significance of downtime contributes to increased productivity and a more sustained motivation to achieve long-term goals.

9. Provide Mentorship

Share your own experiences, successes, and failures, imparting valuable lessons learned along the way. Introduce them to mentors in their areas of interest who can provide guidance and support. Having role models and mentors can inspire young adults to set ambitious goals and persevere in the face of challenges.

Final Thoughts

If your young adult is lacking motivation, you can effectively help them get back on track by using the above strategies. It is normal for some people to feel overwhelmed and fearful when it comes to their future. Being present and offering to help them through this tough period can help keep them on track and motivate them to put in the effort needed to succeed.

We Can Help!

MHThrive provides Individual Therapy, Couples and Marriage Counseling, and Family Therapy at our locations in Katy, The Woodlands, and the Clear Lake area of Houston, Texas. We also provide telehealth therapy for anyone who resides within the State of Texas. To schedule an appointment with one of the MHThrive therapists, contact us at 713-477-0333 or visit www.mhthrive.com to learn more.

If you or someone you know is experiencing any mental health or substance abuse issues, New Dimensions can help. Our team of experienced therapists and psychiatrists can help you overcome these challenges and help you develop the skills you need to thrive. To schedule a complementary assessment or to find out more about our programs, contact us at 1-800-685-9796.

Online Treatment Programs provides Teletherapy Partial Hospitalization and Intensive Outpatient Programs allowing participants to receive intensive therapy with our licensed therapists and psychiatrists without having to leave home. If you or someone you know is struggling to overcome depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, trauma, panic attacks, PTSD, alcoholism, drug abuse, or other mental health or addiction issues, we can help. To schedule a complementary assessment or to find out more about our teletherapy programs, contact us at 1-800-685-9796.

Keywords: Young adults; motivation; living at home; resilience

References: Copp JE, Giordano PC, Longmore MA, Manning WD. LIVING WITH PARENTS AND EMERGING ADULTS’ DEPRESSIVE SYMPTOMS. J Fam Issues. 2017 Nov;38(16):2254-2276. doi: 10.1177/0192513X15617797. Epub 2015 Nov 24. PMID: 29051680; PMCID: PMC5642303.

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The Power of Validation in Helping People Stay Positive

mhthrive — Wed, 08 Nov 2023 08:40:43 +0000

Recent research suggests that offering support and understanding to distressed friends or family members, such as saying “I understand why you feel that way,” can have a significant positive impact on their emotional well-being.

In this study, participants recounted real-life incidents that had made them angry. When researchers failed to provide support or validation for the participants’ feelings of anger, the storytellers experienced a decline in positive emotions. However, when the researchers acknowledged and validated the participants’ emotions, their positive emotions were preserved and remained at the same level.

The study also found that participants reported a decrease in their overall mood as they recalled the anger-provoking event. Only those who received validation for their feelings experienced a recovery of their mood to its initial state. There was no significant difference in the participants’ negative emotions, emphasizing the importance of preserving positive emotions.

According to Jennifer Cheavens, the senior author of the study and a psychology professor at The Ohio State University, the power of positive emotions has been underestimated. While addressing negative emotions like depression, anxiety, and fear is essential, it is equally important to help people nurture and harness positive emotions such as curiosity, love, flexibility, and optimism. People can experience sadness and overwhelm while also feeling hopeful and curious at the same time.

The study, published in the Journal of Positive Psychology, involved three experiments that assessed the effects of validation and invalidation on both positive and negative effects. The researchers observed that positive affect enables individuals to be curious, connected, and flexible in their thinking, while negative affect encompasses a range of negative emotions from disgust to fear to sadness.

The study involved 307 undergraduate students who were asked to recall a time when they felt intense anger and then describe it to a researcher. The researchers either validated or invalidated the participants’ feelings based on randomized assignments. Validation involved responses like “Of course, you’d be angry about that,” while invalidation included responses like “That doesn’t sound like anger.”

Results showed that all participants experienced a decrease in positive affect while thinking about their anger. However, those who received validation had their positive affect restored to or exceeded their baseline levels. In contrast, the positive effect of those who were invalidated did not recover while interacting with the experimenters.

The researchers intend to apply these findings in a therapy setting, but they also emphasize the relevance of validation in various relationships, including friendships and romantic partnerships. Validation helps people feel understood and preserves their positive affect, enabling them to engage in more curious and constructive interpersonal interactions.

The study was co-authored by Ohio State psychology graduate students Cinthia Benitez and Kristen Howard.

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How to Prepare Your Teen for a Thriving Adulthood

mhthrive — Wed, 19 Jul 2023 08:55:05 +0000

As parents, we all want the best for our children, especially when it comes to their future. Preparing our teens for a thriving adulthood requires thoughtful guidance and support. It involves equipping them with essential life skills, fostering independence, and nurturing their emotional well-being. In this blog, we will explore practical strategies and insights to help you prepare your teen for the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead. By investing time and effort into their development now, you can empower your teen to embrace adulthood with confidence and thrive in all aspects of their life.

Encourage Self-Exploration and Discovery

A key aspect of preparing your teen for adulthood is encouraging self-exploration and personal discovery. Provide them with opportunities to explore their interests, passions, strengths, and even weaknesses. Encourage them to pursue activities and hobbies that capture their curiosity. This will help them develop a sense of purpose and build a foundation for their future endeavors.

In addition to this, be sure to actively listen to their ideas and opinions, and respect their individuality. As they explore and discover what interests them, they are likely to come across certain activities that are not the right fit. Rather than pushing them to continue these activities, empower them to find a better fit and continue on their search for what brings them joy.

Develop Strong Communication Skills

Effective communication is vital for success in both personal and professional relationships. You can help your teen develop strong communication skills by encouraging open and honest conversations. Teach them active listening techniques, empathy, and how to express their thoughts and feelings clearly. Developing these skills will equip them to articulate their ideas, collaborate with others, and navigate challenging conversations in the future.

Foster Financial Literacy

Financial literacy is an essential life skill that is often overlooked, especially within the school system. Start teaching your teen about money management early on in order to properly prepare them for adulthood. Teach them about budgeting, saving, investing, and responsible spending. You can also introduce them to concepts like credit and the importance of long-term financial planning. Motivate them to take on part-time jobs or engage in entrepreneurial ventures to learn the value of earning money and the responsibilities that come with it. By equipping your teen with financial literacy, you are setting them up for a secure and independent future. This knowledge can give your teen the upper hand as they become more independent and move out of the family home.

Cultivate Critical Thinking and Problem-Solving Skills

The ability to critically think and solve problems are two of the most important skills you can teach to your children. You can encourage your teen to think critically by asking open-ended questions, challenging assumptions, and exploring multiple perspectives. You’ll want to teach them problem-solving techniques such as analyzing situations and brainstorming solutions. Puzzles, riddles, and strategy games that stimulate their cognitive abilities are great family activities to engage in on a regular basis. By nurturing these skills, your children will develop the resilience and adaptability needed to overcome challenges in their personal and professional lives.

Promote Emotional Intelligence and Resilience

Emotional intelligence is an essential skill not only for a thriving adulthood but for relationships as well. Help your teen develop self-awareness by encouraging reflection and introspection. Teach them to recognize and manage their emotions, as well as empathize with others even when they might not understand or relate. You can promote resilience by teaching them how to bounce back from failures, cope with stress, and adapt to changes.

Preparing your teen for a thriving adulthood requires intentional effort and a holistic approach. By putting these strategies to work, you can lay a solid foundation for their future success. Every teen is unique and the journey to adulthood is a personal one but by being patient and supportive, you can help them feel empowered in their own experience. Provide them with guidance and resources, but also give them the freedom to make their own decisions and learn from their experiences.

Other Strategies To Consider:

Encourage independence: Gradually offer more responsibilities and opportunities to make decisions. This will help them develop self-reliance and problem-solving skills.
Foster a growth mindset: Show your teen that intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and perseverance.
Provide mentorship and guidance: Connect them with mentors or professionals in fields they are interested in. These role models can offer guidance, support, and insights into various career paths.
Promote time management and organization: Help your adolescent learn how to prioritize tasks, manage their time effectively, and stay organized. These skills are crucial for success in college, career, and personal life.
Encourage responsible social media use: Teach your teen about the potential risks and consequences of social media and the importance of maintaining a positive digital footprint. Guide them in making wise choices and using social media as a tool for personal and professional growth.
Instill a strong work ethic: You might teach them the value of hard work, perseverance, and integrity.
Support exploration of career options: Help your teen explore different career paths through internships, job shadowing, or volunteering.
Promote a healthy lifestyle: Encourage them to prioritize physical and mental well-being. Teach them the importance of regular exercise, balanced nutrition, sufficient sleep, and stress management techniques.
Teach problem-solving in relationships: Help your children navigate friendships, romantic relationships, and conflicts by teaching them effective communication, empathy, and problem-solving skills.
Foster a global perspective: Expose your teen to diverse cultures, traditions, and perspectives.

Implications For Unprepared Teens

The ramifications of inadequate parental preparation can be far-reaching and destructive for many. Emotionally, these teens may struggle with self-confidence, decision-making, and managing their own emotions. They may feel overwhelmed by the expectations placed upon them, leading to anxiety and a sense of uncertainty about their future. Lacking the necessary life skills may cause them to face difficulties in even the most basic of tasks such as time management and problem-solving, hindering their ability to thrive independently.

Without a solid foundation, educational and career pursuits may suffer as well. Teens who are not adequately prepared for adulthood may find it challenging to navigate the education system or make informed choices about their career paths. Tasks like applying for financial aid, applying for colleges, and picking a major may be incredibly overwhelming. With proper parent support, they are more likely to make wise choices that will benefit them in the long run. Without this, they may lack the necessary skills to excel academically or professionally, impacting their opportunities for success and personal growth.

Socially, these unprepared teens might struggle to build and maintain healthy relationships, whether it be with friends or romantically. They are far more likely to face challenges in communication, conflict resolution, and understanding boundaries, which can lead to difficulties in forming meaningful connections with peers and mentors. This isolation can result in them feeling lonely and depressed in the long run.

Preparing your teen for a thriving adulthood takes preparation and consistency, but with the right steps in place, parents can help ensure that their teen is set up for success. By fostering self-exploration, communication skills, financial literacy, critical thinking, and emotional intelligence, you are equipping your teen with the tools they need to navigate the challenges and opportunities of adulthood. With your guidance and support, they will develop the confidence and capabilities to pursue their passions, make informed decisions, and lead fulfilling lives.

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How To Guide an Unmotivated Young Adult on Their Path to Self-Discovery

mhthrive — Wed, 05 Jul 2023 08:42:55 +0000

Growing up is a journey filled with twists and turns, and it’s not uncommon for young adults to feel unmotivated and struggle to find their way. As a parent, guardian, or mentor, your role in helping them navigate this phase is priceless. If a young adult does not already have an idea of what they want to do with their life, they might feel overwhelmed or frozen. In many cases, this might come across as a lack of motivation.

Additionally, some adolescents simply experience lower motivation than others. This can be a result of a variety of factors. Even so, by providing the right support and guidance, you can empower them to reignite their excitement for adulthood and discover their true potential. In this blog, we will explore practical strategies to assist unmotivated young adults in finding their path, embracing their passions, and achieving their goals.

What Causes a Lack of Motivation in Young Adults?

Adolescents often face a barrage of societal standards and norms, leaving them feeling overwhelmed and unsure of their own identity and purpose. The constant comparison to others, fueled by social media and peer dynamics, can dampen their motivation as they struggle to meet unrealistic ideals. Especially with social media, young adults are exposed to a vast range of career paths that may feel impossible to choose from.

Another contributing factor could be the absence of meaningful goals and a clear sense of direction. Without a sense of purpose or vision for the future, adolescents may find it challenging to find the drive and determination to pursue their dreams. The lack of guidance and support in setting achievable goals can leave them feeling adrift, leading to a loss of motivation.

The education system can play a role in demotivating adolescents as well. Too rigid of a curriculum that emphasizes rote learning and standardized testing might fail to engage their interests and passions. When students do not see the relevance or value in their studies, they can become disengaged and lose motivation to excel academically. For students that have made up their mind to not attend college, they may feel that school is not a positive use of their time and as a result, it becomes unimportant to them.

Finally, family dynamics and parental influence play a massive role in shaping a teenager’s motivation levels. Lack of support, high expectations, or a dismissive attitude toward their aspirations can all contribute to demotivation. A nurturing and encouraging environment, on the other hand, can promote a sense of purpose and drive in young adults.

Creating a Supportive Environment

To help an unmotivated young adult, it’s essential to create a supportive environment that fosters their personal growth. Encourage open communication and create a space where they feel safe to express their thoughts, fears, and aspirations. Show genuine interest in their concerns and provide empathy without judgment. By building a foundation of trust, you lay the groundwork for them to explore their inner motivations.

Exploring Passions and Interests

Encourage the young adult to explore different hobbies, activities, and subjects that pique their curiosity. Expose them to a diverse range of experiences, such as art, music, sports, or volunteer work. By exposing them to various interests, they can gradually discover their passions. Engaging in activities they genuinely enjoy helps motivate them intrinsically, igniting their inner drive to explore further and excel in their chosen field.

Goal Setting and Planning

Role models should assist young adults in setting achievable short-term and long-term goals. Start with small, manageable objectives that align with their interests and gradually progress towards more significant aspirations. Break down large goals into actionable steps and help them create a plan to reach those milestones. Show them how to track their progress, celebrating each accomplishment along the way. By providing a roadmap and support, you empower them to take control of their future.

Encouraging Autonomy and Independence

As young adults strive to find their way, it’s crucial to encourage autonomy and independence. Let them make their own decisions and take responsibility for their actions. Offer guidance when needed but allow them to learn from their mistakes and grow. It is also important to know when to step in if need be.

Allowing young adults to make their own mistakes is helpful for their own development but dangerous situations require intervention. For example, spending time with friends that are engaging in risky behavior or experimenting with substances are not situations in which independence should remain uncontrolled. As a role model, it is crucial to know when to intervene in order to keep them safe.

Mentoring and Role Models

Introducing young adults to inspiring mentors and role models who have achieved success in their chosen fields can be a powerful way to spark motivation. Having conversations with other adults outside of the home can be valuable for teens, especially if they are not provided with this opportunity often. Mentors can serve as a source of inspiration, guiding the young adult toward their own path of self-discovery. Some ways to find a mentor or role model is through social media, family friends, or even an internship.

Encouraging a Growth Mindset

Instill a growth mindset in your young adult by emphasizing the belief that abilities and talents can be developed through dedication and effort. Help them understand that setbacks and challenges are opportunities for learning and growth, rather than signs of failure. Cultivating a positive attitude toward learning and resilience will help them become more motivated to overcome obstacles and pursue their goals with determination.

Providing Emotional Support

During this phase of self-discovery, young adults may experience moments of doubt, frustration, and low self-esteem. Be a source of emotional support by actively listening, offering encouragement, and reminding them of their strengths. Assure them that setbacks are a natural part of the journey and that their potential is limitless. Your unwavering support can help them regain their motivation and keep moving forward.

Try to remember that every individual’s journey is unique, and it may take time for the young adult to find their true calling. Be patient and understanding throughout the process, allowing them the freedom to explore and make their own choices. Celebrate their achievements, no matter how small, and remind them that setbacks are stepping stones to growth.

As they embark on this journey of self-discovery, encourage them to embrace new experiences, take calculated risks, and learn from both successes and failures. By doing so, they will develop resilience, determination, and a sense of purpose that will guide them toward a fulfilling adult life.

Helping unmotivated young adults find their way is a collaborative effort that requires a nurturing and supportive approach without being overbearing. Your role as a parent or mentor is to be a guiding light during this transformative phase, allowing them to navigate their journey of self-discovery and emerge as motivated and confident individuals ready to embrace the opportunities that lie ahead. Although it will not always be easy, taking the time and energy to properly support your young adult on their mission to self-discovery will undoubtedly pay off in the end.

We Can Help!

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Hеlріng Sоmеоnе Who Is Grіеvіng

mhthrive — Wed, 26 Apr 2023 08:11:56 +0000

Losing someone can be a dеѕtаbіlіzіng аnd overwhelming еxреrіеnсе. Evеrу aspect of our lіvеѕ саn be impacted by the lоѕѕ. It іѕ often dіffісult tо аdjuѕt tо thе nеw rоutіnеѕ іn our lіvеѕ fоllоwіng thе dеаth оf a lоvеd оnе. Simple things like learning to set the dіnnеr table for оnе оr making coffee fоr оnе іnѕtеаd оf the usual twо can bring renewed moments of grief.

Grіеf dоеѕ not end аftеr a person’s funeral or memorial ѕеrvісе. It іѕ a lіvеd experience thаt wіll take time tо wоrk through. Eасh реrѕоn wіll еxреrіеnсе thеіr grieving іn a unіԛuе wау аѕ thеу ѕlоwlу аnd patiently рrосеѕѕ thеіr еmоtіоnѕ and adjust to the inevitable changes that occur.

Find thе rіght words

Whеn someone іѕ dеаlіng with grief, mаnу реорlе wоrrу аbоut saying thе ‘right’ thіng. We want to help but often don’t know what to say or do. It is important to remember that there is nothing that you can say that will “make them feel better” and take their grief away. Your best gift to them is often your presence, caring, and compassion.

Thеrе аrе, however, ѕоmе types оf comments that it is often bеѕt to avoid.

Try nоt tо use рlаtіtudеѕ ѕuсh аѕ “аt lеаѕt hе/ѕhе іѕ оut оf раіn now” – thіѕ mау bе truе, but еѕресіаllу at the early stages of grief, it is unlikely tо bе of much comfort. Similarly, “he/she hаѕ gone tо a better рlасе” nоt оnlу mаkеѕ аѕѕumрtіоnѕ about the реrѕоn’ѕ beliefs, but іmрlіеѕ the ‘bеѕt рlасе’ іѕ nоt hеrе wіth their lоvеd ones, which may be just whеrе thе bеrеаvеd реrѕоn wіѕhеѕ thеm to bе.

Evеn if уоu have еxреrіеnсеd bereavement уоurѕеlf, аvоіd ѕауіng “I knоw how уоu fееl”. Juѕt аѕ еvеrу relationship іѕ unіԛuе, еvеrуоnе еxреrіеnсеѕ grіеf in a unіԛuе wау. Althоugh іt’ѕ uѕuаllу sincerely mеаnt tо еxрrеѕѕ ѕуmраthу, “I knоw hоw you fееl” risks diminishing the unіԛuеnеѕѕ of thаt еxреrіеnсе.

Keeping іt simple is usually bеѕt; mоѕt people аррrесіаtе hearing something like “I’m so ѕоrrу fоr уоur lоѕѕ” or “she will be missed”. If уоu knew the dесеаѕеd well, a few kind words rеmеmbеrіng a раrtісulаr ԛuаlіtу оf theirs and acknowledging their рlасе іn the fаmіlу аnd thе world may also be comforting. Fоr еxаmрlе, saying something like “He wаѕ such a wаrm аnd generous mаn, I’m ѕurе уоu wіll all mіѕѕ hіm tеrrіblу” is a way of acknowledging the significance that their loved one had in their life. Often, реорlе take comfort in knowing that thеіr lоvеd one would be proud оf thеm аnd lоvеd thеm dearly, so іf уоu knew the dесеаѕеd аnd thе соmmеnt іѕ appropriate, уоu соuld say something tо thіѕ effect.

Offеr рrасtісаl support

Dеаlіng with grіеf can be еxhаuѕtіng аnd thе bereaved реrѕоn may аррrесіаtе some relief frоm dаіlу tаѕkѕ ѕuсh аѕ сооkіng, childcare, shopping оr dog wаlkіng. Yоu mау lіkе tо offer tо help thеm wіth paperwork or рrасtісаl adjustments, аѕ thеrе саn be a lоt to ѕоrt thrоugh аftеr a death аnd thіѕ саn feel оvеrwhеlmіng.

Prасtісаl assistance lіkе thіѕ саn bе a gооd way оf dеmоnѕtrаtіng thаt уоu аrе thеrе for thеm and also рrоvіdеѕ opportunities tо tаlk аnd рrоvіdе еmоtіоnаl ѕuрроrt whіlе уоu are together.

It mау bе thаt іt іѕ іn thе weeks and months after the death thаt уоur ѕuрроrt will bе mоѕt appreciated. Pеорlе оftеn ѕау whеn ѕоmеоnе is bеrеаvеd, “іf you need anything, just lеt mе knоw”. Whіlе thіѕ is uѕuаllу wеll-mеаnіng, іt dоеѕ рlасе thе responsibility for аѕkіng fоr help оntо the bereaved person. If you wаnt tо help, bе specific in уоur offer. Actions vеrу often ѕреаk louder thаn words and for a long time after the death аnd іndееd thе funеrаl, bereaved реорlе mау nееd аnd аррrесіаtе bоth рrасtісаl hеlр and emotional ѕuрроrt.

Bе a gооd listener

In terms оf еmоtіоnаl support, listening with a раtіеnt, nоn-judgmеntаl ear іѕ key. Grief іѕ often соmрlеx аnd messy and саn’t be ‘fixed’. Rеѕіѕt thе urge to offer ѕоlutіоnѕ, еѕресіаllу іf уоu fееl уоu hаvе ‘been thеrе’ yourself. Mаnу bеrеаvеd people hаvе еxрrеѕѕеd thаt thеу еѕресіаllу appreciated thоѕе frіеndѕ whо were wіllіng juѕt to bе there to hear the really hard ѕtuff; tо gо tо thе dark рlасе with them.

Respect thеіr way of grіеvіng

Dеаlіng wіth grіеf іѕ аn еxреrіеnсе during which we tend tо оѕсіllаtе between thе dark and thе lіght. It is important to spend time іn ‘restoration’ асtіvіtіеѕ as wеll аѕ ‘grief’ асtіvіtіеѕ, mеаnіng thаt while оn some days thе bеrеаvеd person wіll rеmеmbеr, reflect аnd bе ѕаd, at other times thеу mау wаnt and nееd tо be dіѕtrасtеd, tо еngаgе іn a рrасtісаl асtіvіtу or ѕоmе ѕеlf-саrе; tо еnjоу thеmѕеlvеѕ аnd lаugh. A good frіеnd wіll ѕuрроrt by bеіng thеrе for thоѕе days too.

Dоn’t fоrgеt

In the months аnd уеаrѕ fоllоwіng a lоѕѕ, уоu саn show уоur ѕuрроrt for the bereaved реrѕоn bу rеmеmbеrіng and acknowledging ѕіgnіfісаnt dаtеѕ ѕuсh аѕ bіrthdауѕ, аnnіvеrѕаrіеѕ, аnd other times they mау find difficult е.g. Mоthеr’ѕ Dау, Christmas.

Onе mіѕtаkе people sometimes mаkе іѕ tо ѕtор tаlkіng аbоut the dесеаѕеd, fоr fеаr оf causing uрѕеt; оn thе соntrаrу, most people will be thаnkful fоr thе асknоwlеdgеmеnt that their loved оnе lіvеd. As оnе bеrеаvеd реrѕоn said tо mе, “By mеntіоnіng his nаmе, уоu dіdn’t rеmіnd mе that hе died. I dіdn’t fоrgеt thаt hе dіеd. I think аbоut him every day, аll the tіmе. Bу tаlkіng аbоut hіm, уоu let me know that you thіnk about hіm tоо, and gаvе me permission tо tаlk about hіm аnd fееl good аbоut that.” Thаt is a great gift.

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The post Hеlріng Sоmеоnе Who Is Grіеvіng appeared first on MH Thrive.

How Social Media, Cyberbullying, and the Internet Impact Students’ Mental Health

mhthrive — Wed, 22 Feb 2023 08:15:55 +0000

Social media and the internet have opened the door to a dangerous phenomenon called cyberbullying. Students have been given access to view their peers’ and total strangers’ lives at any given time. This has allowed negative feedback, criticism, and bullying to become what some may consider an epidemic. The ability to comment on another person’s life without the repercussions of saying it to them directly has given destructive power to others, and the effects are concerning. Constant comparison, decreased self-worth, and the development of psychiatric disorders are some of the many ways in which the internet has adversely affected students and the youth in general.

Social Media

With the emergence of social media, student mental health has decreased drastically. Apps like Facebook, Instagram, MySpace, Twitter, and now TikTok have become popular amongst school-aged students over the last decade. Specifically, it has caused an uptick in depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, and poor academic performance. All of these factors have specific relevance to students.

One of the largest impacts of social media is the way that it has altered communication and interaction in general. Students can now communicate with peers from afar without important aspects like tone involved. Messages can be misconstrued, harsh words are more accessible to fire off on a keyboard than to another person’s face, and the ability to quickly change one’s personality is easier than ever.

All of these changes impact the way that students feel about each other as well as themselves. Similarly, social media has allowed for the filtering, photoshopping, and editing of photos and videos. Students are constantly inundated with their peers’ highlight reels without a proper understanding of any challenges or hardships they may be facing. This constant exposure to what appears to be perfection can cause decreased self-esteem, resentment, and an overall feeling of inadequacy.

Long term, this can impact students’ driving forces, motivation, and health. For example, a student may experience heightened stress as they feel motivated to achieve a similar body type to a person they have seen on social media. This can contribute to depression, and anxiety, and become as serious as developing an eating disorder. It is important to remind students that not everything on the internet is truthful or realistic and that there is danger in constant comparison.

Another personal and school-related issue that has been linked to social media is decreased attention span. With apps like TikTok, students are exposed to quick 15-30 seconds videos that are effectively training the brain to seek instant pleasure or gratification. Because the prefrontal cortex does not fully develop until the age of 25, this can be harmful to students. As a result, their ability to focus becomes diminished. This could affect their schoolwork, future careers, and personal life.

Cyberbullying

Social media and the internet have paved the way for harmful peer-to-peer communication techniques. Bullying has plagued the school system since its conception, but cyberbullying is a newer subgroup of this traumatic experience.

The act of cyberbullying occurs via the internet and has allowed even more students to engage in this disturbing act. The root of this behavior is similar to traditional bullying in that it includes threats, rumors, lies, blackmailing, and generally aggressive language. With the ability to bully others from behind a device or screen, it has allowed students to spread hatred at an alarming rate. The implications of cyberbullying are concerning, with some incidences even ending in suicide.

Cyberbullying has the ability to greatly impact a student’s school experience. Although it affects primarily K-12th grade students, college students experience it as well. Students can be bullied by people they have never spoken to in person or even by someone they have never met. Most often, though, this bullying is done by friends or close peers.

The incessant harassment and torment can cause hysteria, paranoia, anxiety, and depression. Most males report cyberbullying in the form of physical threats, while females are faced more with rumors and lies. Even so, both genders experience all types of cyberbullying to some degree.

This bullying has impacted other school-related and societal issues like school shootings. Many of the mass shootings have been linked to cyberbullying and in-person bullying. School-aged males make up the majority of school shooters, which remains consistent with the physical violence correlation to the male gender. This relationship stands to prove the incredibly harmful effects of bullying on a young person’s psyche.

Other Internet-Related Concerns

Some of the other issues that coincide with internet use are exposed to violence, negativity, and hate. One prime example of this comes from playing online video games. Not only are young adults or children exposed to extreme violence, but they are also able to communicate with others from around the world.

A highly popular game, Call of Duty, allows users to join a game on the internet and talk freely with others playing the same game. They are simultaneously responsible for killing characters in video games while being exposed to vulgar and disturbing language. There are no filters on communication in these games, meaning hate speech, racial slurs, and bullying are free-flowing. Especially for younger students, this can be incredibly detrimental to their psyche.

The same goes for websites like Twitter and Reddit, in which there are very few limits on what users post. Profanity, indecency, and hate speech are just a few of the potential concerns found on these sites. Because many areas of the internet are not closely regulated, it is vital to monitor internet usage in students.

What The Data Shows

Research has shown a positive correlation between depressive symptoms and the time spent on social media. The higher the amount of social media exposure, the lower the self-conscience, self-worth, and overall mental health of students. One of the leading factors that contributed to this study was perceived physical and personality traits. Students were viewing others in a state of perfection and negatively comparing themselves to these people. The longer the exposure, the worse the symptoms became. Currently, research is being conducted on the addictive quality of social media, which will add another layer of concern to this already troubling area.

In regards to cyberbullying, a study conducted in 2006 showed that 40% of preteens were victims of this kind of bullying, and 30% of teenagers were as well. In 2006, the internet was not as readily available or accessible, so there is a strong likelihood that these numbers have increased.

How To Help

There are a few different ways that you can stay on top of these harmful effects of the internet. Firstly, it is wise to set limits on the amount of time your student is using social media or web browsing. With smaller windows of time being spent online, you can decrease the amount of exposure they are getting to potentially adverse experiences.

Next, monitoring your student’s use of their cellphone, tablet, or laptop can allow you to catch any psychologically damaging acts. Setting filters is a great way to monitor from afar. You can enter specific words or phrases of concern, and if or when they pop up, you will be notified. Similarly, asking your student to remove any password locks is important to avoid any secrecy when it comes to the internet.

Finally, having open and honest conversations about how the internet and social media can hurt their mental health is beneficial for greater understanding.

Although the internet offers many valuable aspects, the implications for younger adults and children can be concerning. Staying on top of your student’s social media and internet use can help negate the potentially harmful effects.

Using the internet for school work, positive peer communication, and enriching activities are some of the ways to utilize this tool in a positive manner. In the event that you do detect cyberbullying or other adverse internet-related problems, having a conversation with your student is the first step in intervention. As research continues to be conducted on the long-term effects of social media, further recommendations may be released.

We Can Help!

Keywords: Student mental health; Cyberbullying; Social media and mental health

References

Burgess, Ann, Christina Garbarino and Mary Carlson 2006. ‘Pathological Teasing and Bullying Turned Deadly: Shooters and Suicide.’ Victims & Offenders 1: 1–13.
Feinberg, Ted; Robey, Nicole. The Education Digest; Ann Arbor Vol. 74, Iss. 7, (Mar 2009): 26-31.
Nixon CL. Current perspectives: the impact of cyberbullying on adolescent health. Adolesc Health Med Ther. 2014 Aug 1;5:143-58. doi: 10.2147/AHMT.S36456. PMID: 25177157; PMCID: PMC4126576.
Pantic I. Online social networking and mental health. Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2014 Oct;17(10):652-7. doi: 10.1089/cyber.2014.0070. Epub 2014 Sep 5. PMID: 25192305; PMCID: PMC4183915.
Sadagheyani, H.E. and Tatari, F. (2021), “Investigating the role of social media on mental health”, Mental Health and Social Inclusion, Vol. 25 No. 1, pp. 41-51. https://doi.org/10.1108/MHSI-06-2020-0039

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How To Tell If Your Teen Is Smoking Weed

mhthrive — Wed, 15 Feb 2023 15:09:52 +0000

If you are wondering if your teenager may be smoking weed, you are likely experiencing high levels of stress and concern for their well-being. This concern is not misplaced, as regular use of marijuana in teens can cause potentially irreversible damage.

Smoking weed as a teenager can have harmful repercussions such as impaired driving, impulsive decision-making, and an increased risk of addiction. It has also been shown to lower both cognitive function and IQ. For these reasons, it is vitally important to learn if your teen is actively smoking and to be able to understand the warning signs.

Below are some of the most common indicators of marijuana use and the most effective ways to detect if this is occurring in your teen.

Behavioral Changes

One of the first signs to look out for in your teenager is a shift in behavior. Although mood swings can be common in teenagers due to hormones or stressors, a dramatic shift in behavior is a red flag.

Some of the most common behavioral changes exhibited by teenagers that are actively smoking weed are increased sneakiness, deceptive actions, lack of interest in a conversation, avoiding eye contact, and increased laziness. These changes are not only a cause for concern themselves but can lead to more severe changes as your teen ages. Specifically, regular smoking during adolescence has been linked to increased psychosis, anxiety, and depression once adulthood is reached.

Another behavior change that can be a sign of marijuana use is a drop in grades or attendance in school. Losing cognitive ability and motivation can have a dramatic effect on a teen’s success rate in school. Especially if their grades are dropping significantly, it is vital to discuss the possible reasoning for this with them. Regular use of marijuana in middle and high school is linked to an increased early school dropout rate. This behavior could be one of the first of many detrimental changes that affect the future success of your child.

Anxiousness and Irritability

Especially for those that do not commonly experience anxiousness or irritability, this can be a telltale sign of marijuana use. Smoking weed can increase anxiety dramatically, so it can also be a sign in an already anxious child. Panic attacks, rapid heart rate, hyperventilation, and a lack of concentration are all common indicators of marijuana-induced anxiety.

It also negatively affects sleep, which can cause insomnia or increased irritability due to a lack of proper rest. Sleep is essential for a developing body, and these effects can be extremely harmful to your rapidly growing teenager.

Irritability can also occur as a result of increased paranoia. Marijuana has the ability to create a level of paranoia that keeps them on a constant edge. This can be draining, exhausting, and overwhelming. Being able to pick up on increased levels of irritability or stress can alert you to your teen’s marijuana use quickly.

Physical Signs

The physical signs of marijuana use are typically very obvious. Teenagers can be incredibly resourceful, especially when attempting to hide this behavior to avoid conflict. In many cases, they will try to cover up these signs by using things like mouthwash, eye drops, and cologne or perfume.

Their eyes will typically be bloodshot, and their breath will be pungent or have an earthy smell. Clothing will often have an odor to it as well as the vehicle they drive. If you notice your teen taking extra care of their appearance and hygiene out of nowhere, this could be a possible explanation for such a change.

Another physical sign that points to smoking weed is delayed reaction time, either mentally or physically. If your teen begins to both think and move slower, it is very likely a result of smoking. Both muscle coordination and cognitive processing abilities are inhibited when high. If they are slow to respond to questions, move at a decreased pace, or often stall when attempting to speak, it is a good idea to discuss this with them.

Changes in Friend Groups

A shift or change in the friends your teen is spending time with is another way to pick up on possible marijuana use. It is common that picking up a habit such as smoking weed creates a rift in friendships with those who are not interested in such an activity. For this reason, your teen may stop spending time with long-standing friends and begin spending time with a new group of people that do partake in the activity. A loss of friends or mentioning new names that you have not heard before can be a simple way to determine if this kind of change is occurring.

Although friendships can often change during the teen years, a rapid change is a reason to inquire further. Taking the time to ask questions or meet these new friends can help gauge the accuracy of this potential red flag. Most often, if there are actively smoking peers within their friend group, they are at higher risk of also engaging in the activity. Also, having a conversation with your teen regarding peer pressure can be a helpful way for them to understand that they can say no. Even if this behavior isn’t something they are currently engaged in, the likelihood that they will be offered at some point in their adolescence is high.

Vaping and Edibles

The emergence of alternative ways to consume marijuana has made detecting marijuana use even more challenging for parents. Vapes are a new and incredibly trendy tool for teenage smoking. Though it is also used for nicotine, vapes are often used for smoking different forms of weed. In some cases, it can also make the smell harder to detect. If you notice your teen with a vape pen, it is essential to ask them about it. Nicotine is incredibly damaging to the growing body as well, so regardless of the intended use of the pen, it is a cause for concern.

Edibles are another sneaky way for teens to engage in marijuana use. Again, this form makes it more challenging to detect. Because of the new and innovative ways in which marijuana can be condensed, most foods have the ability to be an edible. It can be made into a form such as butter as well as wax or even a liquid form that can be put in drinks. Most often, they will come in the form of a dessert such as a brownie, candy, cookie, or rice krispie treat. Even so, there are plenty of other food items that could contain the drug.

If your teen is hiding any kind of food in their room, it is a good idea to inspect it thoroughly. Looking out for physical and behavioral changes are two of the most effective ways to determine whether or not your teen is using these two methods of consumption.

Being aware of these frequent telltale signs can help you intervene quickly and effectively should your teen be actively smoking weed. Honest conversations can open the door for your teen to share the ongoings of their personal life, and as a result, you can educate them on the impacts of the decision to smoke weed and stop the damage from occurring before it becomes potentially irreversible. Knowing what is going on in your teen’s life is not only crucial for their well-being and safety but for their future as well.

We Can Help!

References

Gobbi G, Atkin T, Zytynski T, et al. Association of Cannabis Use in Adolescence and Risk of Depression, Anxiety, and Suicidality in Young Adulthood: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. JAMA Psychiatry. 2019;76(4):426–434. doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2018.4500
Hadland SE, Harris SK. Youth marijuana use: state of the science for the practicing clinician. Curr Opin Pediatr. 2014 Aug;26(4):420-7. doi: 10.1097/MOP.0000000000000114. PMID: 24914878; PMCID: PMC4138809.
Pacheco-Colón I, Ramirez AR, Gonzalez R. Effects of Adolescent Cannabis Use on Motivation and Depression: A Systematic Review. Curr Addict Rep. 2019 Dec;6(4):532-546. doi: 10.1007/s40429-019-00274-y. Epub 2019 Aug 29. PMID: 34079688; PMCID: PMC8168938.
Swan M, Schwartz S, Berg B, Walker D, Stephens R, Roffman R. The Teen Marijuana Check-Up: An In-School Protocol for Eliciting Voluntary Self-Assessment of Marijuana Use. J Soc Work Pract Addict. 2008 Jul;8(3):284-302. doi: 10.1080/15332560802223305. PMID: 19122796; PMCID: PMC2613344.

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Understanding the Nature of Effective Parenting

mhthrive — Wed, 18 Jan 2023 08:57:21 +0000

Raising kids can be extremely rewarding. It can also be frustrating and exhausting. While they can bring indescribable joy to your life, kids can also test your patience and your ability to manage them. Unfortunately, kids aren’t born with a “how to parent me” instruction manual. As a result, parents are often left wondering how to best parent their kids, especially during times of stress or crisis. Fortunately, there are proven strategies that can help make parenting easier and more effective.

A Kid’s Job is to Test the Limits

First, it is helpful to understand that a kid’s job is to test the limits. Testing limits is how kids learn about the world around them. For example, a young child may open cabinet doors and begin to pull pots and pans from the cabinets. As they empty the cabinets, they are exploring the boundaries of their environment and learn what happens next. A teenager, on the other hand, may test the limits by staying out past curfew. In both examples, they are testing the limits of their environment and “learning” what the responses will be to their behavior.

A Parent’s Job is to Set Limits

Second, it is also helpful to understand that a parent’s job is to set limits. Setting limits is how kids learn to work within the world. If a parent doesn’t set limits, then their kids tend to keep pushing the boundaries until some form of consequence occurs. For example, the child who empties the cabinets may begin to explore the cabinets that hold household cleaners. Obviously, if limits are not set, then the child could inadvertently consume toxic chemicals. The teenager who stays out past curfew, on the other hand, may begin to stay out all night and start using alcohol or drugs. Without limits, both the child and the teenager, thus, may begin to engage in risky behaviors. As a result, by setting limits, parents are helping their kids learn to function appropriately in the world around them. Without limits, kids tend to become more out of control and begin to feel unsafe.

As a parent, once you accept the basic rules of the game, you no longer have to get upset when your kids test the limits. They are just doing their job. As a parent, you also no longer have to feel guilty when you set the limits because you are just doing your job.

Steps to Create Effective Rules and Consequences

As parents, we never get to choose which limits our kids test, we only get to choose how we respond to them. As a result, it is helpful to have a basic understanding of how to effectively set limits. Listed below are some basic rules for effective parenting.

Develop Predictable Rules and Consequences – It is important to create rules that are predictable. If kids don’t know what the rules are, how are they supposed to follow them? The rules and the consequences for breaking those rules need to be predictable for all involved.
Develop Consistent Rules and Consequences – Once the rules and consequences are created, they need to be consistently followed. If the rules are always changing, then kids learn to ignore the rules and will begin to lose respect for what you say as a parent.
Create Natural Consequences – Natural consequences are the best tool to help your kids learn from their mistakes. Create targeted consequences that fit the behavior and your kid will begin to make better decisions.
Create Enforceable Rules – It is important to create rules that you are able and willing to enforce. Assume that your child or teenager will test whatever rule you create. If you aren’t willing or able to enforce it, you are simply teaching your kid to ignore you.
Create Rules That Teach Rather Than Punish – Effective rules teach kids things that help prepare them for life. Don’t get overly invested in rules that mirror what you “had to do when you were a kid.” Instead, ask yourself, “What am I trying to teach my child, and what is the best way to teach them today?”
Get Buy-In from Everyone – It is much easier to get children and teenagers to follow the rules when they feel like they had a role in creating them. When children and adolescents participate in creating the rules and defining the consequences, they are more likely to feel like the rules are fair and equitable.

Use Consequences Instead of Yelling

A common mistake that parents make is that they try to “save” their kids from the consequences of their behavior. Instead of giving the consequences, they only threaten to give the consequences. Unfortunately, kids often ignore these threats which leads to increasing frustration for the parents. As the frustration rises, many parents resort to “yelling” at their kids until they comply. Over time many kids begin to ignore the yelling which only leads to more yelling. A much better strategy is to replace the yelling with consequences. If you allow your child to experience the consequences of their behavior, they will learn much more quickly and the mood of the home will be happier.

A Toolbox for Parents

Be Purposeful About the Rules – In order to help your child develop the tools they need to thrive as an adult, it is important to create an environment that teaches skills, responsibilities, respect, and values. To accomplish this, it is helpful to ask yourself the following questions: What is the purpose of this rule? What do I hope that my child will learn? Are there better ways to teach my child the same thing? Given our family dynamics, schedules, personalities, etc., will the rule get enforced or will it get dropped when things get hard?
Act Don’t React – Be thoughtful and purposeful about your actions. If your child or teenager is testing the limits, take some time to think through the issues and develop a plan of action that matches your goals for them.
Cool Off If Needed – If things get heated, cool off rather than letting the situation escalate or get out of control.
Choose Your Battles Wisely – The older kids get the less power you have to make them do what you want. Rather than battling over everything, focus on those areas that are most important.
Be Selective About When You Give Consequences – Remember that you get to choose when you give consequences. If your teenager refuses to give you their cell phone, you don’t have to physically take it from them. You can always turn off the service later or add additional consequences if needed.
Be a Role Model – Show your child how you want them to act. If you yell at them, you are simply teaching them to yell back.
Be Respectful – If you want your child to be respectful to you, show them how by being respectful to them.
Be a Parent, Not a Friend – Your kid doesn’t need you to be their friend. They need you to guide them and help them prepare to be an adult.
Be Involved – One of the ways to show your child that you love them is to be interested and involved in their life.

Parenting Teenagers

Teenagers create unique parenting challenges. As they transition from childhood toward adulthood, they begin to test the boundaries around them in new ways. During this time, teenagers begin to separate from their families and begin the process of defining who they are as a person. Their friendships become increasingly important and they often begin to resist parental guidance. They also frequently seek approval from their peers as they try to be “different” from their parents.

Teenagers want independence, but still want parents to be available. It is almost as though teens want parents to be “on call” just in case they need you. Teenagers also want freedom, but still depend on their parents. Many teens begin to feel like they “don’t need” their parents, yet in the same breath can ask you for money to buy new clothes.

Parenting Strategies for Raising Teenagers

Listed below are some useful strategies that can help you navigate the teenage years.

Set limits that match their age and maturity. – Rules that made sense when a kid was 12 may no longer fit when a kid turns 17. Teens need more freedom, but they also should have corresponding responsibilities. The more responsible they are, the more freedom they should have.
Always move in the direction of treating your teen as a young adult. – Remember that one of your primary jobs as a parent is to teach your teen to become self-sufficient. If you do everything for them or don’t allow them to make their own mistakes, they will be unprepared to live independently.
Give your teen opportunities to make their own decisions. – Encourage your teen to make their own decisions. This doesn’t mean that you give them free rein to make any decision they want. Instead, give them choices and let them decide for themselves. It will help them develop self-confidence and learn to make better decisions in the future.
Let them learn from natural consequences. – Don’t try to overprotect your teen from the consequences of their behavior. Instead of rescuing them, let them learn from their mistakes. Natural consequences are the best teacher.
Be aware of who your teenager is hanging out with. – Remember that peers are a huge influence on your teenager. You can’t choose your teen’s friends, but you can limit how much access they have to them.
Trust but verify. – It is easier to trust your teen if you know that they are where they said they would be and doing what they said they would do.
Look for teachable moments – Your teen is going to make mistakes. When they do, use those mistakes as opportunities to teach them and help them grow.

We Can Help!

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Why Do Teenagers Rebel

mhthrive — Wed, 09 Nov 2022 14:42:29 +0000

Tееnаgе rеbеllіоn іѕ аn асt оf hіghеѕt аѕѕеrtіоn оf independence and lіttlе adherence to раrеntаl advice during thе tееn уеаrѕ оf a child’s life. It іѕ саllеd a “rеbеllіоn” because іt leads to an intense соnfrоntаtіоn bеtwееn thе teen аnd their раrеntѕ. Teenage rеbеllіоn may seem spontaneous аnd іllоgісаl fоr parents, but there аrе ѕеvеrаl undеrlуіng rеаѕоnѕ behind thе bеhаvіоr.

Whу Do Tееnѕ Become Rebellious?

Thеrе are multiple rеаѕоnѕ behind thе rebellion durіng thе tееnаgе уеаrѕ :

Thе desire tо bе іndереndеnt: Teens are somewhere bеtwееn being an adult and a kid. The in-between phase саuѕеѕ a ѕurgе іn mоtіvаtіоn tо change the status ԛuо. The urgе tо bе independent lеаdѕ tо increased dеfіаnсе to rulеѕ, аnd not lіѕtеnіng tо раrеntѕ.
Hеіghtеnеd dіffеrеnсеѕ wіth parents: Thе rulеѕ thаt thеу have bееn following since thеіr сhіldhооd, ѕееm tо bе ѕuffосаtіng now. Thеу ԛuеѕtіоn thе rationale bеhіnd ѕuсh rulеѕ and feel thаt thе rulеѕ аrе сurtаіlіng thеіr freedom. A teen might lіkе thіngѕ thаt аrе “cool” fоr their gеnеrаtіоn, but mіght be dіѕаррrоvеd of bу thе раrеnt.
Imрulѕіvе decisions: Exреrtѕ ѕtаtе thаt tееnѕ are рrоnе tо mаkіng impulsive сhоісеѕ. A teenager’s judgmеnt саn bе overridden by thе dеѕіrе to seek thrіlls аnd еnсоuntеr еxсіtіng еxреrіеnсеѕ. It саn сlоud the dіѕсrеtіоnаrу thоught рrосеѕѕ, whісh may eventually mаkе them vіоlаtе rulеѕ, and ignore rіѕkѕ іn favor of rеwаrdѕ
Pееr pressure: Thе tееnаgе brаіn lауѕ grеаtеr еmрhаѕіѕ on the оріnіоn оf thеіr peer groups. This is so thаt thеу саn fееl a sense оf bеlоngіng іn those grоuрѕ. A tееn mіght want to do thіngѕ tо рlеаѕе the рееrѕ еvеn іf parents аrе against it.
A сhаngе іn the brаіn structure: Rеѕеаrсhеrѕ nоtе thаt the connections between the neurons оf thе brain dо not dеvеlор соmрlеtеlу untіl thе mіd 20s. Thе effect іѕ соmроundеd bу thе impact оf puberty оn the brаіn. An іmmаturе nеurаl ѕtruсturе with thе соnѕtаnt change іn thе brain design impacts thеіr dесіѕіоn-mаkіng, lеаdіng to a rеbеllіоuѕ behavior.
Hоrmоnаl changes: A mixture of hоrmоnеѕ pumping through a teenager can cause a drаѕtіс change іn thе thought рrосеѕѕ. Fоr instance, the рrоduсtіоn of tеѕtоѕtеrоnе іn bоуѕ during tееn уеаrѕ іѕ tеn tіmеѕ mоrе than what they оnсе hаd. Sеx hоrmоnеѕ hаvе a significant іmрасt оn thе brаіn functions аnd mау have effects on еѕѕеntіаl nеurоtrаnѕmіttеrѕ. This lеаds tо problems wіth mооd аnd demeanor.

How tо Dеаl With a Rebellious Tееnаgеr

Whіlе dеаlіng wіth a rebellious teenager саn be еxhаuѕtіng, emotional, and downright dіffісult, thеrе are ways thаt уоu саn make іt bеttеr fоr еvеrуоnе іnvоlvеd. Yоu wоn’t bе аblе tо snap уоur fingers аnd сhаngе уоur teen overnight, but there аrе bоundаrіеѕ уоu can сrеаtе аnd ѕtерѕ thаt уоu саn tаkе tо hеlр уоur tееn (and yourself) thrоugh this trаnѕіtіоn.

Stау Cаlm and in Control

The most important thing you can do is stay calm. Onе оf the wоrѕt thіngѕ thаt уоu саn do whіlе dеаlіng with аn оut-оf-соntrоl teen is tо lоѕе соntrоl оf yourself. If уоur rеbеllіоuѕ tееnаgеr ѕееѕ you losing уоur patience аnd yelling at him or her, they саn begin tо ԛuеѕtіоn thе bоundаrіеѕ аnd соnѕеԛuеnсеѕ that you have set. Alѕо, if your tееn’ѕ gоаl аt thе mоmеnt is tо get a rise оut of you, hе оr ѕhе will see іt аѕ a vісtоrу rаthеr than аѕ рооr behavior. Inѕtеаd, tаkе a dеер brеаth аnd еvеn walk аwау if nесеѕѕаrу. Count to 10 аnd then revisit the situation with a clearer mіnd. Rеасtіng іn thе heat of thе mоmеnt could leave bоth оf you with rеgrеtѕ.

Decide оn Fаіr, Agе-Aррrорrіаtе Rules

One thіng you hаvе tо rеmеmbеr іn аll оf thіѕ іѕ that уоu are thе раrеnt. Yоu are the аdult іn charge оf thе hоuѕеhоld. Yоur tееn mау try tо еxhіbіt аdult-lіkе tendencies, but at the еnd of thе day, you аrе thе оnе wіth thе life еxреrіеnсе nесеѕѕаrу to mаkе іmроrtаnt decisions.

Thіѕ mеаnѕ ѕеttіng bоundаrіеѕ. Evеn іf уоur teen rеbеlѕ, deep dоwn іnѕіdе he оr she wants thе соmfоrt оf bоundаrіеѕ. Thеу nееd hеlр tеllіng rіght frоm wrоng; аlthоugh уоur teen wаntѕ to mаkе dесіѕіоnѕ on hіѕ оr hеr оwn, remember thаt аn аdоlеѕсеnt’ѕ brаіn is not уеt fullу fоrmеd аnd thеу ѕtіll nееd guіdаnсе. If you need tо, write thе rules down, thаt way there іѕ nо ԛuеѕtіоn about whаt is ассерtаblе аnd unacceptable іn уоur home. Don’t wоrrу аbоut hurtіng уоur teen’s fееlіngѕ or gіvіng hіm оr hеr more rеаѕоn tо rebel. Sеnѕіblе rulеѕ mіght upset уоur tееn аt thе moment, but thеу wіll hаvе a роѕіtіvе еffесt over thе lоng tеrm.

Dесіdе оn Appropriate Consequences fоr Brеаkіng Rules

Just аѕ you hаvе rules аnd bоundаrіеѕ put іn place, you nееd consequences fоr brеаkіng thеm. Again, putting this іn wrіtіng can bе beneficial. This wау іt’ѕ іn black аnd whіtе. Yоur tееn knоwѕ thаt if hе оr ѕhе dоеѕ X thаt Y wіll happen. Your tееn can’t accuse you of making up rulеѕ аѕ уоu gо along оr bеіng unfair іf you all аrе clear оn thе rules аhеаd оf time.

It’s a gооd іdеа tо wоrk оn thе соnѕеԛuеnсеѕ together. Thіѕ wау, уоu know thаt уоur tееn hаѕ a full understanding оf whаt wіll оссur іf hе оr ѕhе brеаkѕ a rule. Whеn your tееn has some say rеgаrdіng thе consequences, it іѕn’t juѕt уоu laying down thе lаw аnd bеіng unrеаѕоnаblе іn thе eyes оf уоur tееnаgеr. Inѕtеаd, іt’ѕ a wау tо ѕеt thе bоundаrіеѕ оr limits of whаt уоu will аnd wіll nоt accept. Hаvіng іt іn writing аlѕо makes іt еаѕіеr for уоu to ѕtісk to thоѕе соnѕеԛuеnсеѕ, аѕ you know уоur teen іѕ fully аwаrе of thе оutсоmе оf hіѕ оr hеr сhоісеѕ.

Fосuѕ оn Yоur Teen’s Gооd Bеhаvіоr

Positive rеіnfоrсеmеnt іѕ a ѕtrаtеgу that wоrkѕ nоt оnlу when уоur child іѕ a toddler but also durіng his оr hеr tееn years. Nо matter hоw rеbеllіоuѕ уоur teen mау gеt, hе оr ѕhе ѕtіll wants tо bе loved. One wау thаt уоu саn ѕhоw lоvе is through positive rеіnfоrсеmеnt.

Tаkе thе tіmе to recognize your сhіld’ѕ accomplishments аnd gооd bеhаvіоr. Evеn іf іt’ѕ something ѕmаll, ѕhоwіng your tееn thаt уоu are рrоud оf hіm оr her could mоtіvаtе gооd behavior mоvіng fоrwаrd. Sоmеtіmеѕ a rebellious tееnаgеr can look for negative аttеntіоn because іt’ѕ the easiest tуре оf аttеntіоn tо gеt. If уоu оnlу рау аttеntіоn to уоur tееn whеn he оr ѕhе dоеѕ something wrоng, thе chances of your tееn dоіng ѕоmеthіng right аrе slim. Inѕtеаd, роіnt out thе роѕіtіvеѕ and thе negatives mау ѕtаrt tо diminish.

Sееk Counseling fоr Your Rebellious Tееnаgеr

Evеn thе mоѕt dеdісаtеd аnd savvy раrеntѕ саn’t manage аll of thеіr tееn’ѕ еmоtіоnѕ. Pаrtісulаrlу whеn depression, anxiety, a ѕubѕtаnсе abuse іѕѕuе, or an anger mаnаgеmеnt dіѕоrdеr іѕ соntrіbutіng to thе bеhаvіоr. If уоur сhіld hаѕ a mental health issue thаt іѕ соntrіbutіng tо thе rеbеllіоn, уоu nееd a рrоfеѕѕіоnаl tо hеlр уоu fіx it. The ѕаmе wоuld bе truе if уоur child hаd dіаbеtеѕ оr a brоkеn lеg. Yоu couldn’t fix it fоr hіm; уоu wоuld еnlіѕt thе help оf thе mеdісаl рrоfеѕѕіоnаlѕ.

Cоunѕеlіng саn bе the safe place thаt уоur tееn needs tо let thіngѕ оut аnd ѕtаrt tо gеt back іn соntrоl оf his or her own асtіоnѕ. Yоu can ѕtаrt with the ѕсhооl guіdаnсе соunѕеlоr оr ѕосіаl wоrkеr. Or уоu саn tаkе your teen tо hіѕ or her pediatrician fоr a rеfеrrаl tо a thеrаріѕt whо ѕресіаlіzеѕ іn аdоlеѕсеnt mеntаl hеаlth.

Seek Cоunѕеlіng fоr Yourself

Don’t fоrgеt аbоut thе іmроrtаnсе оf self-care. This includes counseling fоr уоurѕеlf. It’s easy to blame уоurѕеlf fоr уоur tееn’ѕ rеbеllіоn. It’s аlѕо easy tо make excuses fоr hіm or hеr. Having аn оutѕіdе source whо саn help уоu ѕее the рrоblеmѕ for whаt thеу are саn hеlр уоu bе a better раrеnt. If nоthіng еlѕе, a counselor саn hеlр уоu lеаrn how tо communicate bеttеr and how tо саrе fоr уоurѕеlf аѕ уоu help уоur teen.

Dealing with a rebellious tееnаgеr саn fееl lіkе аn uрhіll battle, but thеrе іѕ a light аt thе еnd оf the tunnеl. Rеmеmbеr thаt these аdоlеѕсеnt years are just a ѕmаll раrt of уоur teen’s lіfе. Wоrkіng wіth уоur tееnаgеr now саn рау off bу hеlріng hіm or her tо mоvе іntо аdulthооd wіth gооd соріng mесhаnіѕmѕ аnd a stronger rеlаtіоnѕhір wіth you.

We Can Help!

The post Why Do Teenagers Rebel appeared first on MH Thrive.

Is Your Spouse Having a Midlife Crisis?

mhthrive — Thu, 29 Sep 2022 17:29:55 +0000

Early adulthood is a time of great excitement. We perceive the future as infinite and brimming with opportunities and success. It’s a phase of intense experimentation. Midlife is considered as ages from 40 through 55, with some wiggle room on either side. Midlife presents a completely different story. The experimentation is behind us and our identity enjoys some stability. We may have bought a house, gotten married, had children, and held down a stable job for a few years. Midlife, then, is not very tumultuous, and it’s a period where we have “settled down” in our routines.

You might wonder if midlife is so secure and stable, how come people experience a midlife crisis? How could a period of calm induce a crisis? You might even be afraid that your spouse might be going through a midlife crisis. To help you figure this out, we first need to dissect this idea of midlife crisis.

What is a Midlife Crisis?

In early adulthood, we are usually focused on what we must aim to achieve in the next 5 years. We routinely ask ourselves “Where do I see myself in the next 5 years?”

In midlife, the gears turn, and we have to reckon with our own mortality. We see old age approaching and think “How can I make the best of the healthy years I have left ahead of me?”. For most people, this is a difficult question to answer, because it feels like there is so much we want to do but now there is a looming deadline. We look both forward and back. We start recalibrating our long-held beliefs, and our fundamental assumptions and reinterpret our past experiences with new insights. We may start restructuring our identity and reorienting our behavior.

Causes of Midlife Crisis

Our identity is constructed through our status within our society and our relationship with others that surround us. We have certain roles to play, and these roles structure our anticipations and plans for the future. We have a mental calendar through which we judge whether life events and transitions are “on time”. A rupture occurs in our identity if we unexpectedly lose a role that we play or an important event occurs that we didn’t anticipate. This may be subtle, such as gaining weight, losing some of our vitality, developing age-related illnesses, and witnessing signs of aging such as wrinkles on our skin, or gray hair.

There are deeper changes occurring as well:

Our job may not have turned out to be as rewarding or fulfilling as we had imagined. We may be facing career uncertainties as our employers downsize our structure. A change in the career or even the pace of the career – whether it becomes more demanding and challenging or becomes easier with less involvement and power – can make us feel ambushed and unprepared.
Our children may have left for college, and as they gain autonomy and become independent, we may find the loss of our role as a parent difficult to cope with. Since parenting is a demanding and involving job, parents tend to feel lonely and without direction, once the children move out.
Understanding our own mortality is also an emotionally taxing experience and it can be difficult to grapple with the fear of our demise.
Loss of a loved one, a divorce, or the disability our parents might experience due to old age can all exacerbate the feeling of disorientation and induce a kind of existential panic. These events can severely drain our emotional resources and can lead to grief that is hard to overcome.

If your spouse has recently experienced any of these above events, they may be going through a midlife crisis. While these events can help map the contours of the crisis, there are also certain symptoms associated with a midlife crisis that you can look for.

Symptoms of Midlife Crisis

Decline in life satisfaction: A midlife crisis can make life feel inadequate. It can make one feel like the best years are behind you, and that growing older implies boredom. While this might not be factually true, if your spouse is going through a crisis they may perceive it to be so.
Feelings of purposelessness: They may also be feeling that life has no purpose and that there is no clear direction ahead. It can manifest as a desire to quit the job or shut down the business, or as anxiety about the future and constant worrying.
Unwarranted self-doubt: Your spouse might be fraught with doubt even if they are excelling in their profession. They may start questioning their decisions, including decisions they took in the past. They might be obsessing over what life might have looked like if they had done this or that differently.
Dissatisfaction with relationships: The crisis can lead to emotional turmoil and the person may start isolating themselves. They may become less involved in family affairs, neglect their responsibilities, and in some cases, they may even start resenting their spouse and seek other potential partners. If your spouse has become distant for no apparent reason, it could be because they are experiencing a midlife crisis.
Unusual concern about appearance: Midlife is a transition to old age. It is also a transition to more maturity, but for some people, it can feel like a loss of attractiveness. If someone’s self-esteem is tied to their good looks or how others perceive them, this phase may make them feel insecure. In such cases, people start obsessing over every little physical detail that they think is a sign of being “old”. This can manifest in many ways — plucking gray hair, spending too much time on grooming, suddenly buying a gym membership, or getting cosmetic treatments done.
Persistent restlessness or fatigue: Excessive introspection or rumination can take a toll on one’s psyche. Anxiety about the future can make the person restless in their quest to find a direction or resolve their psychological discomfort. It could also deplete their energy and cause unusual fatigue that is not related to any health issues. As a result, they may feel overwhelmed with lethargy and have trouble performing their routine tasks.
Dip in motivation: The crisis can lead a person to adopt a pessimistic outlook on life. As a result, they may lose interest in activities they used to enjoy. They may give up their hobbies and abandon their personal and professional ambitions. A drop in passion can lead them to turn down opportunities they had been eagerly awaiting for a long time. They may even repeatedly question the meaning of life and ponder other existential questions.
Decline in sexual desire: The distress caused by the crisis can also strain the intimacy between a couple. Your spouse may turn down your initiations of physical intimacy, or they might seem uninterested during sex. They may also lose their romantic bent and not express their love and affection as often as they used to.

How Can You Help?

If your spouse is going through a midlife crisis, you do not have to watch helplessly as they struggle. Actively supporting them through this difficult phase could play a key role in how they resolve their inner conflict. You can be their ally in many ways:

Listen without judgment: If your partner shares their distress with you, you should listen to them with an open mind and without judgment. You should provide them with reassurance and comfort and let them know that they can discuss anything with you. Initially, it may be a good idea to let them share their thoughts and worries without confronting them or offering them advice.
Discuss getting professional help: A midlife crisis can raise difficult questions and throw the mind into disarray. Your partner may be feeling lost and not know where to start. Therapy can help alleviate the distress and formulate a plan to tackle all the important questions in a strategic manner. A mental health professional can provide a safe space for honest discourse, allowing your partner to assess the situation in a calm and thoughtful way. Therapy can turn a midlife crisis into a midlife transition.
Share useful resources: Encourage your loved one to do things that they enjoy, and it may also be helpful for them to keep a journal where they record their thoughts and feelings. Remind them of the wonderful opportunities that lie ahead and encourage them to embrace new interests and experiences. Midlife can be a time of profound change, and your partner may want to adopt a lifestyle that is healthier – both mentally and physically. Empower their good choices and tread with them on their path to self-discovery.

We Can Help!

The post Is Your Spouse Having a Midlife Crisis? appeared first on MH Thrive.